Friday, November 21, 2008

A Wife's Perspective

Many people have been asking how my husband is doing and some are keeping up with our daughter's blog to find out that information. What she writes concerning her father is the information that I tell her she may share. I will not go into any details, but my husband's earthly body decays more each day. I did ask my husband yesterday if he was able to pray when he lies in the bed mostly unresponsive and he nodded his head. It is a comfort to me that he is still in communion with his heavenly Father even when My husband is unable to converse with us."Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day," (II Corinthians 4:16 NKJV).

I am grateful to our older son who helps me care for my husband every day. He had been wondering when the time would be for him to come home from West Point and would constantly say to me, "Mom, I NEED to know when to come home to be with Dad." He wanted me to ask the doctor when the time would be, and I would "quiz" the hospice nurse each visit to know if THIS would be the weekend our son should not return to the Academy on Sunday. No one could tell the appropriate time and it would have been hard to ask him to leave the Academy not knowing how long he would have to be home. We were not glad about the turn of events with my husband breaking his femur on October 26th, however, it was then that we knew that it was time for our son to return home. God is sovereign in ALL things. (The Academy has been great in continuing to show their support for our son during this time.)

As our daughter said, he has been on oxygen. It has been over a week for that measure and it is just to make him comfortable. As of yesterday, he is restless and often takes it off, but accepts me putting it back in place. He doesn't always respond to a question, but is always listening. He ALWAYS acknowledges me with a smile, a wink, or an eyebrow-raise when I tell him that I love him. He is still able to communitcate how much he loves me! He reaches often for a hand to hold if a person is close by his bed and waves most times when someone new enters the room.

This morning, he did ask if we were packed and said he needed clothes and was ready to go home. I am assuming he meant his heavenly home that awaits him. I read to him from a Billy Graham devotional book given to me by a friend earlier this fall. Actually, today was the last entry in the book. It was titled, "With God Forever!" The scriptures mentioned in the devotion were: II Corinthians 5:1; Luke 10:20; II Corinthians 5:8; I Thessaloninas 4:17; and Revelation 21: 3-4. How comforting to both of us to know that when we die we will be with God forever!

He is restless and his breathing is much different that ever before. Although he drinks between two to six ounces of liquid a day, he has not eaten now in 12 days. Actually, he has displayed all of the signs that have been spelled out for me in the handout from hospice entitled, "Signs and Symptoms of Approaching Death".

I am not a writer, other than my own personal journal, but I felt this morning that I should post an entry on the blog. Many have been saying that they miss my husband's writing. I too miss it and the way his teaching challenges me personally. He has not only been my best friend and husband for 21 years, he has been the spritual leader of our family for over 15 years, and my pastor for over seven years. Our older son asks me what will I do with my time once my husband is gone. I will be grateful for the time to compile his sermons that I have access to; the emails sent by colleagues, friends, students, and former students; and to create a scrapbook of photos. All these will be part of my process of grieving and of healing. They will also be wonderful gifts for our three children to have to remember their Dad, and to know who he was and the impact the Lord allowed him to make. These will be instrumental in helping our five-year-old son to really KNOW who his Dad was. I remarked to my friend we're living with that my husband used to pray for at least 50 people at the church that we helped plant. (God is continuing to bless that church under a new pastor.) God had such other plans for my husband and gave him a pulpit on line with WAY more than 50 lives to reach for the gospel of Christ. (As of November 19th, there have been 27,911 people who visited the blog!) MAY GOD BE GLORIFIED!

We are overwhelmed by the provision of meals, transportation, boxed food and supplies, baked goods, monetary support for our two families during this time while we are here with our good friends. The phone calls, emails, cards, and other correspondence continue to encourage us. I do read to my husband, although at this point he has a very short attention span and memory. I was speaking with a friend from Georgia today about having difficulty being able to focus in prayer at this particular time of my life and she referred to all those that are lifting me and our family(ies) up to the throne for us. For that I am most grateful. That is a precious gift, to pray for God to uphold someone undergoing a trial when that particular person is in the "trenches".

Thank you all for your continued prayers! God has been and continues to be so faithful to us! Throughout each day He reveal so much to us, whether it is revolving around the strength necessary for caregiving, guidance in becoming a single parent (since my husband is unable to help me in decision-making, disciplining, etc...), or the promise of the eternal life that awaits my husband in the near future. This will be my only post, however, my husband has prepared a final post to be displayed at the appropriate time. Please pray for my husband to slip peacefully into eternity with his Savior.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a humble and gracious lady! God bless you and the children...

Lee Ann Jackson said...

I just stumbled on your blog because of your reference to Billy Graham (a hero of mine and so many of course!). I don't know you or your family but I will be praying for you and your husband.
From a single, Christian mom in Southern California

Anonymous said...

Jim, you've been such a tremendous blessing and your life and journey have been such an inspiration. i've prayed to God daily for your healing and/or that the Lord would be so gracious and allow me to take your infirmity in exchange for my health. you've run the race and ran it well. i'll see you soon.

Penny said...

Our hearts are so saddened, but God continues to bless us by your incredible testimony. Anyone that has had the privilege of knowing you & Mr. Bond, is extremely aware of the deep love that you have for each other & as a family. We will continue to cry out to our Saviour on your family's behalf. We will pray without ceasing today and in all of the days ahead.
In Christian Love,
Penny & Mandie

Brown Eyed Girl said...

Thank you for sharing. Please tell your husband that I purchased a book he mentioned on his blog. I read from it tonight out loud as we were lying in bed. It started good Godly discussion between us which I hope continues.

Anonymous said...

We continue to pray for your complete family. Your faith and dependence on God has been a great source of spiritual encouragement in our lives. We will pray as you have requested and will continue to pray as we are led for you and your family. Thank you for your faithfulness -- We send our love as joint heirs with Christ.

Anonymous said...

Jim,your life is a powerful te stimony to all that search for meaning and direction in this world of self-gratification. Truly you have focused on what really matters, loving God and others. I thank you and Merrily for your consistent Godly example even in the hardest of times. My life will be forever changed because of the suffering you have endured, and I will stive by the grace of God to instill the same values in my children. We will be grateful to you for the remainder of our lives here, and look forward to our reunion at the precious feet of our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ.

M & M said...

Your husband and family are in my thoughts daily. I wish I had the opportunity to meet Jim in person although just from reading his posts it feels as though we have been friends forever. Thank you for the update post. May God be with you at all times.

Anonymous said...

What is done for Christ will last. Nothing He sends to us goes to waste. The stars in your crowns will be blinding.

Anonymous said...

To the Bond Family
Your continuing testimony for the Lord Jesus is AMAZING. Thank you for your faithfulness. We will pray you through the rest of this journey and onto the next one.
Friends in Christ

Anonymous said...

Merrily--sent you an email to jmichael's address if you have a chance to check it. Thanks

Michael T. Mackey said...

Merrily,
You are the epitome of what God's charge for marriage is; in sickness and in health. Jim has been so blessed to have such a wonderful loving wife. God Bless you and your family. We are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your update. It is obvious the love and committment you have for your husband. I know it was not easy to post this blog, but at the same time it was probably good for you. Sometimes it makes things easier to let it out. I have grown to love and respect your family. This blog has changed me in a magnificent way. Thank you for that. Again, I appreciate you being able to think of all of us at this very difficult time. I continue to pray for all of you. God will never leave your side, nor will he allow your husband to pass in any way but peacefully. Your husband is a wonderful person. God bless you all.

Kelly said...

I have learned so much and have grown so much since learning about your husband; often wish I could be more like him trusting in the Lord; it is happening!
Behind every good NO great man is a very strong women; and you just proved that one more time! Thank you so much for letting us all join the journey and sharing your family with us all! You did a wonderful thing!
I can't even imagine how hard this whole process has been for your entire family--but I am sure you know how many people love, support and hold you all up in prayer!
As sad as I am; I was thrilled to see the number of people on the blog! Your husband was a huge success with life, family and now perfect strangers and will continue to change lives and improve people for years to come---anyone who reads this blog can not help but to be changed!
With saddness, I will add peacefully to every prayer!!

In God We Trust--
Kelly Savitz-Hoherchak

Boonie said...

I am still thinking of you and praying for you every day. I don't think I have ever seen a family with the dignity and fortitude and support that yours does. My thoughts are always with you all...

Miss Cindy said...

Hi Merrily and family,
What a tremendous blessing, encouragement and challenge reading your blog and your daughter is to me and my family. Your strength in the Lord is great and evident in each post. We pray for you and your family and the continued impact your husband continues to have and WILL continue to have on this world. May God continue to hold you in the palm of His all loving hand!
Hugs, The O'Brien Family

Anonymous said...

God bless you and your family. We think of you daily in our home. Love to all. Jim's cousin, Linda

Rosanna Covenant Marriage said...

Nice blog! I remember a blog about Covenant Marriage Seminars with a similar discussion. What a coincidence.

flowers said...

Many people used flowers their many occasion , For example - weeding, birthday,anniversary and many more. Flower is a source of peaceby Revathi

flowers said...

Your garden looks very very nice & flowers are looks good by Revathi

Fitness Equipment India said...


I am so glad you are back. I have missed looking at the awesome tbuy work that you Gym fitness accessories

avenirelectricalconsultants said...


Hey great stuff, thank you for sharing this useful information and i will let know my friends as well.Avenirelectricalconsultants

besten said...

Hey great stuff, thank you for sharing this useful information and i will let know my friends as well.Besten