Monday, September 29, 2008

Tuesday's Entry

It is Tuesday. It is getting more difficult to blog every day.

Sunday we had the opportunity to go visit our son at West Point, and see a Sprint Football game. It was a blessing to see him from the sidelines as a glorified ball boy, and to meet his friend, Kyle. Kyle is a Rabble-Rouser aka cheerleader. I did not last the whole game, my wife had to take me to the car to sleep. When I woke up the game was over. We drove over to Trophy Point to have a picnic. By the time we got there, I was drowsy and difficult to rouse. It was the first time that my son had seen me fall so far. We left in time for my son to be back in formation.

The ride home was interesting, as I slipped in and out of coherence. My family was amazed at how much I would bounce back just in time to give them important directions for the drive home. On the way home, I kept dropping things, and by the time we arrived at our house, I could not make it into our house. Our neighbors helped me into the house. Later, my wife could not get me into our sofa bed on the first floor, and called a friend, who works as a nurse, to help get me into the bed. Just as they were doing that, I popped awake, and said to my friend, "What are you doing here?" He exclaimed, "You weren't expecting that were you!"

Monday, I woke up to my daughter sitting in the chair, telling me that she had not gone to school yet. My wife later explained that she did not want to leave me alone. After my children left for school, I woke up and told my wife that I felt much better, and told her that I wanted to get into my chair.

The next thing I remember is my wife telling me that my pastor and his wife were coming, and that hospice was on the way to set things up.

While waiting for hospice to arrive, I received phone calls from some of my closest friends. I had an opportunity to tell them how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

Hospice set up a bed in our bedroom, and had me fill out the necessary paperwork, so that they are now in charge of my pain management.

After being exhausted from the hospice admission, I slept while my wife visited with our pastor and his wife.

I woke up to visit with them shortly before another friend brought our two children home from school. I was coherent enough to interact with our two children as they told us about their school days. I was grateful for that time with them. Our daughter informed us that the basketball coaches asked her to be captain of our school JV basketball team. Of course, we were excited that she was chosen to be honored this way.

Monday evening, our friends the Tuttles, visited. We had a nice visit with them. At this point, I can never be sure that a visit is not our last.

After the Tuttles left, we waited for other friends, the Woodalls, to arrive. After getting lost in West Clifford (for a long enough period of time to decide that it would make a good place to plant a church) the Woodalls arrived here at about 11:30.

Most of the group stayed up until about 3:30 am talking. I fell asleep long before that.

This morning, Jamie and I enjoyed some great discussions about the eulogy [I asked him to prepare a eulogy that would lead people in a celebration of who God is and what he has done in my life), about ministry, and about life in general. We laughed a lot. We cried some.

We spent some time reflecting on Psalm 30:1, trying to come up with modern ways to express David's thoughts to God: "I will extol you, O LORD, for You have lifted me up." in contemporary terms. Due to various circumstance, our conversation was cut short. Jamie later came up with the phrase, "I will lift You up High, God, way up High, because You have have lifted me up.. I like that thought. That because God lifts us out of difficult circumstances, we are in a position to lift Him up before others as a God who cares, as a God who protects, as a God who delivers us.
When we are down He lifts us up.

I took my first two doses of morphine last night and today. I resisted, but it is suppose to help me. The first doses did nothing to relieve my pain. I took another pill to help reduce the twitching in my hands, but it has not been very effective either. My hands still shake as I type and I have difficulty grasping things with my hands.

We are looking forward to visits in the next few days from my parents and brothers. My sister Ann will be visiting next week.

I am looking forward to eternity, but concerned about the care of my family when I am gone. I do know that they will by okay, but it is still difficult to give up my concern.

My posts are becoming shallower in their content. The spelling errors and typos are bound to increase. But I plan to continue as long as I am able.

6 comments:

MyAwesomeOliveShoots said...

I was reading my Bible last night and wanted to share this with you...

Psalm 112:6-7

For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever.
He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

I put your name in my prayer journal when I read this verse.

I pray your pain is alleviated and I am moved by your candor and obvious love of your family, friends and your Lord Jesus Christ.

Anonymous said...

Jim and family,

I just read your blog for today and I am amazed that you can type so much!

Thank you for your blogs. They are an inspiriation to read. God is using this time in your life to bless others.

Psalm 118:5 says "In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."

You and the family are in our prayers each day.

In Christ,
Tony

Debbie Pinheiro said...

Lillian and I just talked over Skype and cried as we read your blogspot together. You have a special place in her heart I know, and thanks for being such a great teacher and friend to her in her 9th grade. Freddie and I pray for you and your family every night. You are a blessing to us as you show your faith in our Father in trials and suffering. May He continue to pour out His grace in your life.

Michael Boonie said...

Jim, I just learned last night from my mom that you were sick. While I feel a bit like a poser reaching out after all these years, that doesn't matter right now. Something hit me HARD when I heard what you are going through. Maybe it's the mortality check that seems more intense when we (I?) get to this age; maybe it's just the way that having family casts a completely different light on these things... I want you to know that, if you feel like reaching out, too, I'm here. (Not knowing how cool it might be to leave an email here, I just say that I'm on facebook.) My thoughts are with you, and I hope that I get to hear from you soon. Peace...

Patrick Family Blessings said...

Sorry for interrupting but do you know any expert counselor or family blessings lecturer? I think with all the troubles my family is experiencing, we badly need either of the two. Thanks.

Danny Nicolson Covenant Marriage Seminars said...

Look at all the comments here. Well if you were talking about divorce maybe I can join in your heated discussion. I’ve just been
to a series of Covenant Marriage Seminars, so I’m kinda touchy about such a topic.