His Plans Are Better Than Mine

Even as late as yesterday, I had high expectations that my blood counts would be good today and that I would be able to attend a children's program at church tonight, our new coffee house outreach on Saturday, church on Sunday, and even spend some time in the office next week.

But . . . today I found out that I was too eager in planning ahead. There is a lesson here in waiting on God and trusting in His perfect timing. His plans are better than mine. I believe that. I trust that.

Yesterday was busy with physical therapy, errands with my wife, her birthday celebration (she is now 46 and I am still a young lad of 45!), and a deacon meeting at church. In hindsight, I did too much and wore myself down. (On the other hand, my blood counts would have dropped even if I stayed at home.)

On the drive down today, I did not feel well. The lab results showed that my hemoglobin level is almost 3 points below normal, and my white blood cell count (absolute neutrophil count, to be more specific) is 0. I am what they call 'neutropenic.' That means that I must avoid large crowds and anyone who is sick. In addition, I have terrible mouth sores, a relatively new side effect for me.

This (neutropenia)is not a new occurrence for me, but it gets a little more severe each time. I am on an antibiotic to help prevent infection, in addition to my daily injections of neupagen to stimulate WBC production.

After my last five-day chemotherapy treatment, I spiked a fever and ended up in Lehigh Valley Hospital on IV antibiotics for three days, as well as blood transfusions to increase my hemoglobin level. The doctor wants me to monitor my temperature, and if it reaches 101, I will be admitted to the hospital. The last we checked it was 99.6.

He also said that I can expect this after each treatment from here on out. One remedy may be to decrease the dosage by 20%. This could be done, he said, without decreasing the efficacy of the treatment. A 30% reduction or more would render the treatment ineffective. We will have to monitor the situation and, if necessary, amend the treatment plan. Of course, it is in my best interest to get as many rounds of chemotherapy into my body as possible. But the body has its limitations

I e-mailed my friends and family and asked them to pray specifically that . . .

1. God would be glorified through all of this.

2. That we would continually recognize His presence with us.

3. That we would be a positive testimony of Christ before others.

4. That we would trust God in whatever circumstances come to pass

5. That the oncologist would have wisdom as he monitors my progress.

6. That my wife would be strengthened and renewed daily as she drives me to appointments, cares for me at home, and does the thousand other things that moms do.

In all of this I know that God is sovereign. He is with us, sustaining us and comforting us. Every day, I fail to adequately magnify our Great God. But He never fails me.